"It's No Fun Being Poor"

That was a BYU devotional given by Marvin J Ashton. Boy was he right! I had hopes that things were improving for us, but all to no avail! I worked for a week with a temp agency for a good place, but they are hesitating to fire their normal Admin. Assistant. Don't ask me why, because she certainly isn't doing a very good job. Anyway. . . no call today and my hopes were dashed that they would rather stick with Miss "less than effective" than hire someone who actually knows how to work. Oh, well. We are just supposed to endure more of this trial. I have to admit that today is one of those days that I am ready to throw the towel in. I am so SICK and TIRED of all of this. I have the hardest time understanding why we needed to move just so that things could go from difficult to impossible and horrible. Sorry, today is a "Poor Me" feeling day. I honestly am just so tired of all the collection calls, which are simply constant reminders that we are failing and suck as humans because we can't provide for ourselves. The children's requests of "Can we go do _______?" or "Can I have this?" or "Can we have a treat tonight?" And they keep getting the same old response "Sorry, but we just can't afford it right now" and in my mind. . . "or ever!" Yesterday was a hard morning because I had to take the baby to daycare for the first time in his life. He could tell that I was going to drop him off, because the second I pulled him out of the carseat, he developed a death grip on me and then screamed his head off when I left. I then cried all the way to work. All the while thinking, how on earth am I going to do this for the next ____ years? So today I am looking for any ray of hope because it seems I have hit the bottom again and feel so completely hopeless!.